Catching up and riches

Well, it has been some time since I last posted anything!  But I have found that Facebook is not the place for journal entries!  So, I once again, join the blogging world.  Now let's see if I can remember how to change everything.  Otherwise my background will remain a fall setting!

So much has happened since fall 2012...I don't even know where to begin!  Troy has finished school but not a nursing major.  He decided to change with only 2 semesters left.  He graduated with honors in the computer field, but I am not sure what.  I just know he has a Bachelors of applied science in the ______.  I am just glad we are done for now.  In a year he will start his Master's Degree in Business.  So until then...  He works for Intel Security which used to be McAfee.  He likes it and does really well.

I went back to work at East Idaho Credit Union September of 2013.  I liked it but found that with Troy's work and school schedule it was getting hard.  So I quit the end of May 2014.  I loved the people I worked with and gained many new relationships I needed at the time.  I yearn some day to go back to work, to remove myself from the craziness of toddler life, but I feel like for whatever reason this is where I need to be.  Kara and I started running a couple years ago and we are doing great.  We have done several 10ks and we are signed up for three half marathons this summer.  Right now I am going through a little Achilles Tendonitis, but I think it is on the way our.  It has been a week and a half sine I ran last and I am really needing to do it! 

D is now in the 4th grade.  He likes school for the most part but I think he likes the social atmosphere more!  He plays the piano and plays spring and falls soccer.  He got braces last year and will have them for a while.  He enjoys riding his bike, rollerblades, and skateboard.

T is in the 2nd grade and is really doing great.  He has great grades and things come easy for him.He started Tae kwan do and loves it.  He is almost ready to test for a yellow belt!  He struggles a little in the friend department, but that's okay, he will get there.

Kbj just today finished her first year of preschool!  She loves it.  She also will finish her first year of ballet and tap, but has decided to start gymnastics instead of dance.  She is also playing soccer.  She doesn't love it, but she tried it!  She is very social and loves to play with her friends!

I guess that doesn't catch us up very much considering I have lost 2.5 years, but there's a brief synopsis.

We had a lesson in Sunday school last week about a man who approached Jesus and asked what he needed to do to inherit the kingdom of heaven.  Jesus then told him to follow the commandments and when the man told Christ that he had observed the commandments his whole life, the Savior told him to go, sell what he had and to give it to the poor.  This saddened the man.  He had many belongings.  How could he give up all he had worked for? 

This lesson has stayed with me all week, so much I gave our FHE lesson on this very passage.  Troy and I are saddened to see our neighborhood changing.  Very few people are the same as when we moved here 12 years ago.  Good families have moved out and some good families have moved in, but it makes me a little sad to see empty houses, houses with for sale signs in the yards, and rentals popping up everywhere.  We have looked for a new house, we have even started getting our home ready to sale.  I would like a better neighborhood and a better school for my kids, but after hearing this lesson, I am determined to stay where we are and be more generous in helping those in need.  This is hard for me.  This saddens me, just as it saddened the man who approached the Savior.  I want more.  I want newer, and better.  But a man cannot serve two masters.  This I have to accept.  This rule I have to abide.  In the end, it doesn't matter how big my house was, what type of car I drove, or what type of designer jeans I wore.  But what matters is the time, effort, and love I gave to my fellow man.  What did I do to make this crumbling world a better place?  I try to leave my mark on this world, but am I leaving a good one?  Am I raising strong kids that will carry their weight in helping others?  Do I give my time to do my callings, or did I do a mediocre job and call it good for the sake of it getting done? 

I am grateful for the scriptures and I am feeling the need to be a better person all around...a better mom, a better wife, a better daughter and granddaughter...but most of all I have a strong impression that I need to be a better me.  I am not reaching my full potential.  I am not doing all I should be.  I need to be a better me and give up my riches whether it be time, money, or energy.  I need to serve my fellow man and do my part.

It feels good to be back on blogger!  I feel like my journaling has taken a back seat for a few years.  I want my kiddos to be able to look through these and realize that their mom had a heart, and didn't just yell and scream, haha.  I want to leave my feelings and most importantly my testimony for them, not only to let them know I have one, but maybe so they can draw from it and gain one of their own!

Halloween 2012

It's here, my kid's second favorite holiday!  It's a busy day, but we are all so excited!  Daeson is a Dark Skull Warrior, Tevan is the blue Ninja Turtle, Kb is supposed to be a bee, but screams when I put it on her. and I was a queen, but today I just have on orange and black with some spiders and pumpkins on my face.  I get to help at the Halloween party for Kindergarten and I am excited.  We are making black cat candy holders.  It should be fun!  I will get some pics posted soon!

Fall has come and gone

Yesterday we woke up to snow...a lot of snow.  I wasn't excited, but the kids were.  I rounded up all the snow clothes...hats, gloves, scarves, boots, snow pants...and got the kids ready for school.  They looked like marshmallows walking out the door, but they were toasty marshmallows!

It snowed off and on yesterday and today it is almost gone.  I am amazed how quickly the weather changes,  We didn't get much of a fall.  It has come and gone.  I loved last year for we had a warm Halloween, a reasonably warm Thanksgiving, and a very pleasant Christmas.  This year, I am afraid, will be heavy with snow.  Sigh.....soon Christmas will be here and we will be knee deep in the white powder.

The kids want to play in the cold weather, they know when they come in they can have warm cocoa and some marshmallows.  This is a favorite around here.  Since I can not eat chocolate without severe consequences, I drink soy steamers with coconut flavoring.  It is delicious and I enjoy every drop.  Yesterday I made the first batch of caramel popcorn....mmmmm!  Yummy!  It was so good and I wondered why I don't make it all year long.  Delicious!

Kaebryn likes the snow so far...she eats it.  Not surprising since she eats everything.  I am pretty sure she has a Lego in her stomach somewhere.  This child is a whirlwind of energy.  She is into everything, puts everything in her mouth, and if all doors are not closed, she destroys whatever room she has access to!  When she was younger, we tried to get here to take a pacifier to help with the acid reflux, but she would not take one at all.  Lately, her favorite thing to do is to take a pacifier.  She chews, sucks, gnaws, plays with and soothes herself with the thing!  She is so funny like that!

Daeson is doing well in school and really likes it.  He has discovered a love for reading and has read "Magic Treehouse #33" and "Junie B.".  He likes to draw and is getting quite good at it.  He is a helper to me and is becoming a very responsible child.

Tevan is also doing well.  He is a fantastic reader, his teacher isn't sure what to do with him.  He needs some help with his penmanship, but what 5 year old doesn't??  He is very creative and uses his imagination to the max.  Everything is a game to him and he likes to show others all the games he makes up.  He is still very particular, and we have a lot of drama, but he's growing up quickly!

This should get it's own post, but Troy got accepted into the nursing program!  He was in the top 25 and he is super excited.  He is working hard and stressing a bit, but he is excited to move on.  Good job Troy!

I am on survival mode, and have been for a while.  Things are very busy for me, but I don't like to be idle, so its okay.  Tomorrow is Super Saturday and I cannot wait til its over so I can move onto the next project!  It is a big job being in charge!  Very stressful and time consuming.  But I made a lot of crafts this year, bonus.

One of us

Tonight after Kaebryn's bath I combed her hair.  She protested when I put the comb away...she wanted to play with it.  I gave it to her and she tried to comb her hair.  As she was doing so, Daeson said, "She is growing up so fast!  She is starting to be one of us!"

As opposed to???

Conference

There has been much talk on the changes made in conference, the revelations revealed, and the talks that were spoken.  I was grateful for the opportunity I had to watch/listen to all four sessions of  The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints General Conference.  I was thankful for many of the talks that were directed towards me...as I am sure most of those who watched felt the same way.

I didn't hear every word spoken, nor did I get to hear the very beginning of Saturday morning due to techical difficulties, yet I feel thoroughly edified.  I do sustain the leaders of our church.  I pray for them, I love them for the services they so freely give, and I admire the ways they live their lives.

There has been much controversy as to what we, as "Mormons" believe.  We are strange and peculiar people.  And that is okay.  I am happy to be set apart from the world in the way I speak, dress, and worship. I am not perfect, church is not for perfect people.  It is a place where we can strive to become better people.  There are many things I need to improve in my life, and through direction from our faithful church leaders, guidance through direct revelation from our Heavenly Father, and counseling from my husband and children, I know I can do better.  Everyday I can make better decisions to become a better person.  All of us can.  All of us have the opportunity to be better, to know our Heavenly Father and our Savior, Jesus Christ.  It is not something we should ever take advantage of, and it is not something that we "deserve".  It is a gift, a privilege, and an honor to be able to converse with our Lord when we need him.  He is a constant in our lives if we live righteously. 

I was able to evaluate several aspects of my life during conference and there are several things I do need to change:

1. I need to love more.
2. I need to show respect to everyone and not be so demanding. I need to say please and thank you more.
3. I need not judge others.  Period.
4. I need to be aware of the things I watch/listen to online.  Are the shows I watch appropriate?  Is the music I listen to edifying?
5. I need to be willing to serve more.  I need to serve those around me and those in need.

There are many other things I need to do.  I am very far from perfect.  However, I need to start with a small list.  Line upon line, precept on precept.

Gender

So I decided gender has nothing to do with it when it comes to raising children.  I have always been told that girls are far easier to raise than boys.  That girls are...sweet, lovable...well, they were wrong.  Kaebryn is very sweet and lovable, but not very ladylike when it comes to some matters.  She gets in to everything, she bites, she hits other children, she screams, squeals, grunts, yells, and throws.  She, when told no, looks right at us and does exactly what she was told not to do and throws her head back and laughs.  She is a handful to say the least, but I love her so much!

Now don't judge me on the following story.  Troy has been working a lot...like 48 hour weeks and full time school on top of that, so rarely is he home to help with anything.  I see him for a couple hours some days, and the kids see him sometimes.  Daeson went two days without seeing him...and this is not rare.  So, I don't have any helpers to help me get my stuff done.  Today was a very odd day, and I don't even know how exactly it went...but something like this...I got up late, made breakfast, and Daeson only had about ten minutes to eat before he had to leave for school.  Troy got up to take Daeson since he hadn't seen him since Monday.  Daeson was late.  I cleaned the kitchen and called the insurance company to figure some changes out.  I then reviewed what I needed to get done today.  I got Tevan ready for school (who by the way is doing amazing academically.  He is ahead of his classmates and can almost pass Kindergarten now).  I came home to put Kaebryn down for her nap and to tie into my scout training.  I started the long training process.  I got a little ways into it when my friends Kara and Jace stopped in for a visit.  It was a nice break.  Then Jana and Owen came over for another visit, and Cara and Aiden came for visiting teaching.  Then it was time to get the boys from school.  Scout training still not done.  We went on a much needed grocery shopping trip and came home to put the groceries away.  It was then time to start dinner, scouting stuff still not done.  We ate...well, Kaebryn smeared her food everywhere and the rest of us ate.  This is the part I don't want judged on...I stuck her in the tub with the supervision of Daeson.  He is a good baby watcher and I continued my scout training, in the next room, that I was supposed to have done before pack meeting at 7pm.  All the sudden I hear, "Oh man!  Mom, Kaebryn pooped in the tub!"  To which I replied, "Gross, I'm coming."  The next thing was lovely..."Mom, she is eating it!"  YUUUCCCCKKKK!

I ran to the bathroom to find poop smeared everywhere, and yes, in Kaebryn's mouth, in her hair and all over everywhere!  If you know me, you know I do not do well with smells or gross things.  So I washed her up and got her in her pajamas, only to clean the tub, floor, and bath toys.  I have two boys, both of which pooped in the tub on several occasions.  Neither of which ever ate it.  Never even tried.  My daughter also ate a raw unwashed potato at pack meeting tonight.  So gross.

I know each child is an individual.  I know each on is sent from Heaven to help us with our weaknesses.  I know Kaebryn was sent to me as payback for the child I was...it just so happens that my little, sweet, beautiful daughter is a stinker...a poop-eating, dirt chowing, rock-throwing stinker.  But I love her.  I love her more than words can say.  I love that she laughs at herself, at us, and at our mistakes.  I love that she is an attention getter.  I love that she is my little ham, constantly seeking approval or even disapproval on her latest trick.  I love you, Kaebryn!  

Happy Birthday Troy!

Happy birthday to my husband, Troy. Troy turned 34 yesterday, and although we didn't see him very much, we thought about him all day.

Tevan, Daeson, Kb, and I woke Troy up about 8a.m. to give him the cards the boys made. They also got him a mirror for the shower so he can shave all those wiskers! The cards were very cute. I saved up cake money and gave it to Troy so he could finally build a new computer. So, after he got up and got ready, he worked on that. Then he went to school. We got CostaVida take out for the two of us and enjoyed a brief lunch while Kb and Ivan, a little boy I watch, were sleeping. He then left for work...3pm to 11pm. It was a long shift for him so we took a chocolate cake filled with bavarian cream, topped with vanilla buttercream frosting. He said it was good.

He got a birthday surprise when his sister, Heidi, came. We saw our nephew for the first time, Marshall. He is almost 6 months and is very cute! It was a great surprise!

so much going on

Daeson and Tevan started school a couple weeks ago. I had major anxiety over Tevan going, but he is doing fine and actually adjusting well. I am glad.  He has Mrs. Moeller.  Daeson I don't seem to worry about so much.  He has Mrs. Goodwin this year.  I was nervous at first because she wasn't every friendly, but Daeson likes her and she is a very organized teacher.  She has great communication skills.  Our biggest adjustment we have had is homework. The following poem comes to mind:

Homework by Jack Prelutsky

Homework, oh homework, I hate you, you stink.

I wish I could wash you away in the sink.

If only a bomb would explode you to bits,

homework oh homework you're giving me fits.

I'd rather take baths with a man-eating shark,

or wrestle a lion alone in the dark.

Eat spinach and liver, pet ten porcupines
than tackle the homework my teacher assigns
Homework! Oh, Homework!
You're last on my list!
I simply can't see why you even exist.
If you just disappeared it would tickle me pink.
Homework! Oh, Homework,
I hate you, you stink!

I actually thought this was a Shel Silverstein poem, but guess I was wrong.

Daeson has an hour of homework every night.  It takes its toll!  But we put on our big girl/boy underwear and we get it done.  Most of the time, with tears!

Troy is working a lot, and is in school full time.  He is doing great, too!  I started watching kids again, something I swore I would never do again.  But, here I am.  It is fine.

We went to the fair in Blackfoot...that was fun.  Kaebryn was sick though.  Not so fun.  We met my mom and dad there.  Summer is definitely wearing down.  The nights are finally cooler, and the days are getting shorter.  Ah, I love September!  I decided that it is my favorite month of the year.

Christmas lists!

So the names for Christmas have been drawn! I know we are a little late, but here they are!

GROVER SIDE:

We drew family names this year, limit $30.00 total.

Adam's family: Heidi, Brad, Marshall

Troy's family: Dani, Todd,, Ryker, Sadie, Oakley

Danielle's family: Adam, Kaylala, Adalyn, Mieley, Tora, Ajay

Heidi's family: Kaden

Kaden: Troy, Jandy, Daeson, Tevan, Kaebryn

SMITH SIDE:

There is a 15.00 limit on adults and a 7.oo limit on kids.

Justin: Jordan

Hailey: Jaden

Jaxon: Tevan

Baby Girl: Kaebryn

Troy: Hailey

Jandy: Jesse

Daeson: Jaxon

Tevan: Brooke

Kaebryn: Carson

Jesse: Troy

Jordan: Justin

Brooke: Daeson

Carson: Baby Girl

Jaden: Jandy

We hope that everyone is excited for the season this year! I know that I am! We get to travel Denver to see my brother get married, and visit some great friends while we are there! We are sooo exited about Jordan being in our family, we have known her for years! And we cannot wait to meet our new baby girl niece! Sooo excited for that too!!

Today is a better day since my last post. I, for one, am glad for that. Although I had plans to take the kids to the lake, Troy promising me he would be back by noon, and yet he is still not home...it's 2. So I cancelled my plans to go to the lake, and I have some very sad kids because of it. Oh well, life is all about adjustment, right?

I did do a little retail therapy today and that helps. Troy and I went to Taste of Idaho last night with some close friends. We had a great time and enjoyed eating all the tasty food. It was so great to be out and about, with great company. After, we ventured to Best Buy and Ross. The boys have been searching for Skylanders....the hard to find ones. Last night Best Buy had them, or most of them. Daeson has been earning money by working with Troy, so I checked with him to find out if that is what he wanted to spend his hard earned money on. It was, so I went this morning to purchase Zook. Tevan used all of his money, and owes me 6.00 before he can play with Lightening Rod. But, I was glad they had them. Last night while we were at Ross, I found some great dish towels and hot pads, some extracts and vanilla bean paste. I was so excited, but the fire alarm went off and we had to get back for the sitter. So I ran over there this morning too. I knew that Vanila Bean Paste is usually pricey, so when I found it for 5.99, I jumped on that! I just googled it and it runs for 13.00 everywhere. What a deal! I was also able to find Kb some long sleeved pj's. It was a good day, or has been so far. Troy is going to the movie @ 5:40 with our friend. I think we will just hang out and not do much. Tomorrow will be a busy day, we are going to a family reunion...or the kids and I are. I am getting very used to going everywhere by myself. Troy has not gone to anything with the kids and I this whole summer. Oh well....

One of those days

Today is definitely one of those days. It started fine, I guess. I couldn't sleep last night, not sure if it is the fires or that I am actually getting a cold. Either way, colds last and I don't think all the fires are going away either. Anyway...Daes got Kb out of bed this morning and brought her to me. She was excited to see me and I laid with her for a moment...then decided to get in the shower. Troy, I thought, had control over the situation, but her screaming at the bathroom door for twenty minutes while I got ready proved otherwise. I yelled. Then yelled some more, not really helping the situation, but momentarily helping me feel better...only to feel worse after. Urg!

This morning was registration for school. Last year we were there an hour and I had to register two kids today, so the anticipated hour was expected. Troy told me I had forty minutes to get back before he had to leave to do a computer job. So I got to the school, required documents in hand, and eagerly headed to the office to register Tev first. I got to the office, read the sign, and realized I had his birth certificate, his shot records and proof of residency...but no wallet. Great. I headed out to the car to see if I had any cash stashed away...three dollars short! Urg!

I headed home, told Daes to grab the diaper bag while I grabbed the check book and Kb's stuff because now I knew I would not get done in the allotted 40 minutes. I was not happy at this point, I was mad at Troy because I feel often that his stuff comes before mine...but I won't open that can! So I loaded the stroller, the kids, and the checkbook and headed to the school. Midway Kb was screaming as usual and I reached for the diaper bag. "Daeson, where's the diaper bag?" "I don't know." "I told you to get the diaper bag." "I got your wallet!" "Did I ask for my wallet or did I ask for my diaper bag?" So, I flipped around. I drove back home to get the diaper bag...we are now past the 40 minutes! I am beyond irritated now. I am angry.

I went to the school. Waited in line. Daes and Tev were running around like a bunch of wild children....not listening. Kb was screaming her head off in protest of her being in her stroller. I got to the office. Picked up Tev's packet to fill out and then sat at the table filling out the numerous papers. I am not a racist person, but when I have to fill out a stinking paper about NOT being Hispanic....I get a little cranky. I LIVE IN AMERICA!! I should not have to fill out papers declaring that I am sure I am not freaking Hispanic!!!!!!!

I finally got Tev's paperwork done only to have to stand in another line for Daeson's. I sat, Again, filling out the numerous papers declaring that I am, in deed, white. Kb was still protesting her being in her stroller and everyone around me was giving me "the look". I took her out. Held her....or rather tried to hold her...while she grabbed at all the many papers laying around. Finally, done with D's packet. I got stopped by the PTO president who is a friend, and filled out more papers. I stopped at the lunch room to get the scoop on school lunches...only yet to fill out MORE papers...once again declaring I am white. I had to go back to the office to get my receipt showing that I paid my dues and to turn in Daeson's paperwork. Whew. Done with registration. What time is it?? Oh man, just enough time to get the boys to their eye exams.

I drove to the mall, our insurance works at Lenscrafters. I had just enough time to get some lunch for the kids. Sigh...I was looking forward to a break. Subway and Pretzel maker are the only two places to get food. Tev wanted pretzel maker and Daeson wanted Subway. So, I stood in line at pretzel maker...malls are always slow! I ordered a pretzel dog, no drink, a small pretzel bite for KB, and two juice drink things for the boys. Apparently he didn't hear me say just the dog, not the special, 'cause I got a strawberry lemonade! Stinking 10 bucks all together!! Kb, by the way, was still screaming in her stroller. I was headed to Subway to get mine and Daeson's. Kb flipped around in her stroller, grabbed the lemonade cup from my hand and spilled it everywhere. I mean everywhere. Down her, the stroller, all over the floor, in the diaper bag, all over my foot....it was everywhere. Why did I not see her, you ask? Because I was looking at Tevan throwing a fit because he dropped his hot dog out of the pretzel wrapping. Is this day ever going to end????? I cleaned up what I could, told Tev to suck it up and that it was his fault and shushed Kb. I went to Subway only to see that there was a sign saying they do not take debit cards. I never carry cash with me, so I told Daes he had to get pretzel maker. I was soooo angry! He threw a fit..."I don't want pretzel maker, I want Subway! Why can't I have Subway!?"

Back to pretzel maker to stand in line...again!!! This time I ordered a pretzel dog. Just that. And I just looked at my reciept...that jerk charged me for pretzel bites that I didn't get! I wondered why it was six bucks! What a rip! Anyway, we ate and headed to the eye appt. We got there, only to be told that they cannot find my kids on my insurance card. They cannot do the exam because the kids didn't show up. So, we ran the cards again, only to show that they are, infact, covered. Gratefully the exams went fine.

Home. Kb fell asleep in the car on the way home. I warmed her a bottle, changed her diaper and put her down for her nap. I went outside to get the kitchen/fridge playset washed for daycare that I bought at a yard sale a couple weeks ago. We got that done, and I thought I would get a few weeds pulled since I was out there. I was doing great, until the boys started fighting, I yelled again. Then it must have been karma cuz as soon as I yelled, a bug flew in my eye! I came in side and decided to blog about my horrible day. Wishing that next week would come sooner.

Troy has worked all summer doing ice for his brother. The few days he had off was spent with the scouts, doing school work, or with his hurt back. We did go to Yellowstone one afternoon. This is his last week working for Adam, and I was very glad since school doesn't start for another week. We had great plans for next week. We were going to drop the kids off for a week at various family members houses, then spend a week in SLC just having fun. We even found a place for Kb! However, he now works from 7am to 7 pm everyday next week except Saturday and Sunday. I am not happy. I hate weekend trips, I feel like all you do is drive. Drive. Drive.

I know I am extra grumpy today. I know this blog was probably hysterical to those of you who have gone through what I went through today. I do not like going through this stuff. I do not like change. Change is not for me. But here is my bad day. In writing. Maybe one day I will look back on this and realize how silly and trivial it sounds...but today, I have declared, the worse day ever!

long time, no type

It has been a month since I last posted. I am not sure what has gone on, but we have stayed very busy! Swim lessons ended, the boys did great. The last part of June I took our cub scouts to Day Camp. It was fun to get to know all of them. We had a great time in the sun! My mom was able to watch the kids for me. It is nice having her and my dad closer now!

The 4th of July was spent with my parents while Troy worked. He is working the summer for his brother stocking ice and we have not seen him a whole lot. Back to the 4th...we went to Inkom for a celebration and saw some of the Grover relatives! We spent the morning watching a parade and then the afternoon in the park listening to live music. The band was very good and they played a variety of music. We headed to McCammon and went to a ward dinner. One of the band members from the afternoon was there with his wife singing and they did great. It was very enjoyable and we all had a great time. We watched the fireworks in Pocatello and headed home.

My friend and I got together one day t o make freezer meals. This was fun to spend the day in the kitchen. I loved preparing everything and coming out with 7 meals. It was a fun time.

We went to a family reunion the middle of July. It was my grandmothers family. Her brothers had not spoken for thirty years and embraced each other on the reunion day. It was great to see foes forgiven and friendships renewed! I don't always get along with my brothers, but I cannot imagine going any amount of time not speaking to them! It was neat. Then we went to the parade and rodeo. It sprinkled on us after the parade and rained for a bit. We got ready to go to the rodeo and I kick myself for not taking a picture. My dad bought all of my kids chaps. They were all decked out and so cute! Especially Kaebryn! So cute and not one pic! During the rodeo it started to sprinkle....then rain....then pour! We had walked to the rodeo so we had to walk home in the pouring rain. I had Tevan in tow and packed Keabryn home...a half mile. It was awful!!! We were soaked to the bone! I was glad the kids had on chaps, it kept their legs dry. Daeson stayed with my dad and brother at the rodeo. We had my brothers kids with us. W e gt dry and laughed about it.

The boys and I had dental visits this month....yuck! Tev had a surface cavity, Daeson had six holes...not small cavities, we are talking HOLES in his teeth. I had a perfect visit and the hygenist told me my teeth were very clean! Yay for clean teeth!!! I did have to get my crown fixed, it had a gap in it. Tevan did surprisingly well for his first dental cavity. Daeson not so much. We have been referred to another dentist to get him sedated. Sheesh! I'd rather pull the dang tooth!!

Happy Anniversary to Troy and I. We celebrated our 12 years of marriage on the 21st. Or anniversary was the 20th, but Troy worked til 10:30 or 11:30 that day. I took the kids to the splash park and had fun. The 21st my Aunt Lisa and cousin Katie came to watch the kids. We ate dinner at home, then went to the mall to walk around. After we went to Rock of Ages. I liked the music for sure, but there were some cheesy parts in it. I did like the story line. It was good, and who knew Tom Cruise could sing?? We came home and chatted with Aunt Lisa for a bit. It was nice having the kids to sleep!

Troy had a couple days off this last week so we went to West Yellowstone for the day. We took Kaebryn and the boys stayed with Aunt Kayla. Thanks Kayla! We walked around and ate dinner. It was nice to get away for a day. The next night Troy slept on the trampoline with Daeson. The next morning he could barely move. It was awful. The next day he had a message and after he could not walk. So, off to the Doctor yesterday. He apparently pulled some muscles in his back and is now out of work for a few days. It's nice to have him home, but he can't do anything but lay around. He is on some pretty heavy muscle relaxers. But I will take what I can get.

Kaebryn is learning to walk. She tries without even being coaxed now, maybe she will walk! She still puts everything in her mouth and eats whatever she can get her hands on. She is talking more and more. We love her...not her sleep schedule, but her.

I decided to watch kids again. So, I have been getting geared up for that. I have a two-and-a-half-year-old and a baby a couple months older than Kb. It will be busy, but I get to be home.

Our basement flooded in all the excitement. A pipe broke in the wall. We had it all taken out and carpets dried, now we just have to get it all put back together. I am having a hard time finding a sheetrocker who will do a small job. It was just a bit of the ceiling and four feet wide that got damaged. I will do all the painting, but I cannot sheetrock or texture. I cannot believe that one tiny pinhold can cost so much!

I got put in as the Super Saturday craft person...so if anyone has fantastic ideas, let me know!! I need all the help I can get.

Well, I think that covers it. No pictures, my computer has a virus. No access to them! But I will try to get it fixed soon, until then...

Slowing down

I feel like things might finally slow down, although life in general seems to be so quickly passing.

The boys are in swimming lessons last week and this week. They love it. I love to watch them "swim" through the water. They are so excited with everything they learn.

Tevan repeatedly says, "I am so glad I am five." He loves to be five and feels so grown up. We still have issues with his eating habits, but he seems so much older lately. Daeson went to a friends house this afternoon and Tev said, "But if Daeson leaves I will be alone and that means I will be lonely." I told him he could hang out with me and he folded his arms across his chest and said, "Fine! I will just have to be lonely then!" Gosh, I didn't know I was so fun to hang out with! We ended up reading several stories and he liked it.

Daeson is sassy as ever and smart as a whip. He loves to play and has dying for me to let him have friends over. I decided I am not the cool neighborhood mom. I am the do-your-chores-first-and-then-we-will-see-if-you-can-play-mom. Usually it takes them a couple hours to clean their room so they miss out on a lot of play time. I am not sure how their room gets so messy...it's cleaned everyday!

Troy is done with his super-duper-harder-than-ever-Anatomy and Physiology class. He did great and we are all so happy it is over. He is in a theater class and a medical ethics class right now. They seem a breeze compared to last semester and the last summer class. He is working for his brother for a couple of months throwing ice...or stocking the ice coolers. Today was his first day. I think he will do great.

Kaebryn is growing like a weed and continues to eat EVERYTHING! She has been sick, once again. It started last week. She is now getting better and has a runny nose. She started this all about 8 days ago. Yuck! I feel super bad that our little neighbor boy and friend caught it. They were sharing germs through toys! Yucky. But she is doing much better. She is so close to walking and chatters about everything. She loves to cuddle! I love to cuddle her back!

Me? I have stayed plenty busy. I am not exactly sure what I have been doing, but I feel like I have done a lot this summer. I got most of my weeds pulled in the front yard...sunburning my back in the process. Troy said I look like I have a tramp stamp. It is flaming red and it is very sore. I weeded for two hours the other night and my jeans kept slipping down around my hips. I am paying for it every time I move! Tonight I got most of my plants in the garden. I will finish tomorrow morning. I started working out at the gym and I love it. I use a Cybex machine...a type of elliptical. I burned 463 calories in 20 minutes the other day. Love it! Thursday we took the kids to the Drive0In theater. We saw Madagascar 3 and Men in Black 3. They were good...or what I saw, Troy and Daeson were the only ones who made it through both movies. Saturday we went to the Relay for Life cancer walk. It was a lot of fun. Our booth was cupcake making. It didn't go as well as we thought, but it was fun to do. Troy had the kids while I ran the booth.

Saturday I had a yard sale in the morning and in the afternoon, we went to the zoo with the Grover cousins. It was a lot of fun and the kids had a blast. Ryker and Sadie, our SLC cousins, were here. They are so cute. Sunday I made cinnamon rolls and we delivered them. And, ate them! I should not have made a double batch! After getting back from Troy's parents, we had some of our friends over for s'mores. It was fun to roast them!

Today we had swim, went to the nursery to get our plants, visited a local produce store and cleaned the house and did laundry. Tonight I attempted to get all the plants planted, but it got dark awfully early! I have a few more to go. There is a man in our ward who is determined to get me a garden going. He taught me to roto-till and get the soil ready. Nothing that I planted grew so I kinda let it all go to weed. He came over to check on it and was surprised to see it all weedy. I sprayed and he came once again with his tiller. Tonight when I went back to plant, he had already raked and dug trenches for me! He is a sweet man and I would not have planted anything without him! I am grateful.

Well, it is really late and I have to get to bed. I needed to update though. I still need to catch-up on my birthday, my family reunion, father's day and so much more! One day I might get caught up!

Tevan turns 5!

Tevan. Oh Tevan. Anyone who knows Tevan knows that he can be quite a handful, but is so fun and lovable at the same time! I cannot believe he turned 5!

We went to swimming lessons this morning and when Troy got home from school, he opened his Wii learning adventure game. I decorated his door and when he woke up, he was greated with streamers and a sign. I love this little man...

I decorated his cake and about 1:00 we went to McDonald's for a kids meal. Troy didn't feel very well, but I pushed the Pepto and we headed to the CIRCUS! I didn't quite know what to expect, but we had a blast! We rode an elephant, saw tiger tricks, saw 4 men riding bikes in an iron sphere, watched jugglers throw fire and swords into the air, saw some quick-change magic and much, much more. The kids got their faces painted...Daeson was a pirate and Tevan was death. The kids loved it and I was so happy it was a "good" circus.

After the circus we met my mom, dad, Jesse, and Jaden at Sizzler for dinner and cake. His cake was 8 inch round strawberry flavored and buttercream icing with Super Mario Bro colorflow characters. Tevan had a great time. He kept singing, "Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me!"

Upon arrival at home, we showered and got the circus off of us and we went on a walk around the block. Then came home to veg on the couch until the kids fell asleep.

Last week I took Tevan in for his well-child check. He didn't get shots, but a good look-over. He is 35 lbs (12%) and 40 inches (7%). He is so small and everyone thinks he is only 3. However, he is growing and on his own curve. He doesn't like to eat meat very much and when he eats anything he would rather be playing.

His favorite food is cheeseburgers (???, I was shocked at that answer!)

His favorite friend is Celest.

His favorite color is black.

His favorite thing to do is play video games.

His favorite treat is s'mores, buthe loves any treats!

He dislikes onions, ketchup or anything else that looks flavorful!

1. Tevan loves me. He gives me kisses and hugs all.the.time.

2. Tevan likes to play with his big brother and rarely likes to play with his baby Sister. She is too hard to keep track of!

3. Tevan is in a size 4, barely.

4. Tevan sleeps well and only wakes up when he has to pee or has a bloody nose.

5. Tevan has the cutest voice and says things very different from what you would expect they would sound like.

6. Tevan doesn't like to listen.

7. Tevan is OBSESSED with video games and loves to play them.

8. Tevan does not like to try new foods at all. There are times he is asked to take one bite and he sits in the chair and cries for literally hours and will not try it.

9. Tevan has a crush on Alexis, the 10 year old neighbor!

10. Tevan likes Pokemon, Bakugon, Beyblades, sword fighting, and bug catching.

11. Tevan is very determined and strong willed.

12. Tevan like to dish it out, but does not like it when others do it to him and he often cries very loudly!

13. Tevan is always singing about something. He likes to make up songs.

14. Tevan hates band-aids.

15. Tevan likes to read and tries to sound things out.

16. Tevan does not like to color.

17. Tevan can write his name.

18. Tevan likes to pick everything: movies, games, foods...

19. Tevan likes to use his imagination. He comes up with some pretty crazy things!

20. Tevan is affectionate. He either likes you and shows his love, or he shuns you. lol

21. Tevan loves to sleep in my bed and I often find him on the very edge in the morning. He loves the nights Troy works all night because then he sleeps with me all night.

I do love this little man. He is so funny at times and I laugh daily with the things he comes up with. He is a trial for sure, but a cute one. He is very handsome and has a super cute smile. I am blessed to have him in our family. What a kid!

Kaebryn Joy turns a year!

Today Kaebryn turns one! I cannot believe how quickly the year has gone. I love this baby with all my heart and she brings such happiness to our family. She is so sweet and loving, and growing so quickly.

Kaebryn:

1. Loves puppies. Any animal really, but puppies are her fave.

2. Loves her ba-ba...or bottle. She is drinking whole milk and made the switch very well. Troy had been giving her sips of milk here and there, and I think it helped.

3. Her brothers. She loves them so much and says, "Daes". She loves going into their room and playing with all their stuff! It's quite funny to see her light-up when she knows she isn't supposed to be doing something.

4. Her vocabulary includes...bear, puppy, mom, dad, Daes, ba-ba, book, num-num, bye-bye, more, and Mama for Grandma.

5. She will let me know she is hungry by smacking her lips together.

6. She gives kisses to others, but bites me. She bites so hard in the last three days, I have had 4 skin-breakings! Those baby teeth hurt!

7. She has six chompers.

8. She is in 18 mo clothes and size 4 shoe.

9. She like to pick out her clothes she wants to wear. I take her to her closet, and she grabs the one she wants.

10. She loves to eat everything! And I mean everything! Nothing is safe around here...dirt, carpet strings, toilet paper, hair from my head, Pokemon cards, books, toys, sheetrock....the list goes on!

11. She loves to wave and does a Miss America wave.

12. She loves to give high-fives.

13. She loves to eat. She is a good little eater and likes most things.

14. She crawls and cruises furniture and loves to get into things this way. If she can reach it...

15. She pulls my dish towels off the oven everytime they are there. She likes to have it on the floor.

16. She plays peek-a-boo with anything she can find...her clothes, towels, washcloths, and blankets.

17. She loves to bath and play in the water.

18. She loves to swim.

19. She loves her backpack. If she sees us grab it, she gets so excited. She loves outside.

20. She loves to help me mow the lawn...I put her in the pack, and away we go. She loooves this.

21. She likes to be held if only for a second. She climbs in my lap and snuggles in.

22. She loves to be up and busy.

23. She loves her daddy. Her daddy has taught her to drink from a straw most recently.

24. She loves pat-a-cake. If she cries, this is our go-to.

25. She is so fun and lovey. We love this baby.

We are so grateful to have Kb in our lives! We all adore her and think the world of her. I am so glad she is thriving and doing so well. She is a sweet heart and so precious!

*The picture is from the other night, she is still sleeping, but I will get one of her to put on today.

update

Kaebryn has pneumonia and we got an iv in her foot last night for dehydration. She is on a zpack and has to use the nebulizer. We are hoping she gets better soon.

Up all night

I have to make this quick as Kaebryn has a Dr appt in 15 minutes. I haven't slept now for 28 hours. Kaebryn is really sick and hasn't slept either. We are both exhausted beyond measure. The night before last Troy had her in the ER with a fever of 104.5. After a few hours later, a catheter and a urine analysis, they sent her home with a schedule for ibuprofen and acetaminophen and an antibiotic for what we think is an ear infection. Yesterday her fever never reduced lower than 103 except once after a big drink and some advil, and it reduced to 100.6. She started throwing everything up and hasn't been able to keep anything down. My heart aches for her. Her skin is dry and chappy. Her breathing is very shallow. She doesn't even cry, it's more like a sad whimper. I wish I could take the pain away from her. It breaks my heart to see her this way. I am so grateful Richard and Peggy took the boys over night for me. It was so nice to focus on Sissy.

We go to the Dr today and I hope we can do something for her. Maybe it is something that just has to pass, I don't know. I have said many prayers in her behalf but they seem to go unanswered. She is resting now, for the first time since yesterday morning. I was able to get the thrown-up-on sheets in the washer and start her bottles in the sink.

This is the part I hate about parenting. I hate seeing my children suffer. I hate that they are sick and so helpless. I will update as soon as I can.

Congratulations, Kaden!

This is my baby brother-in-law. His name is Kaden. He recently graduated from High School and has a great Senior year! Whew, I'm sure he's glad it's over! He was only 6 when Troy and I got married. I remember playing video games with him and taking him swimming. I haven't always been the greatest sister-in-law, but I sure love this kid! He is so fun and cute. Kaden, I am so proud of you! You are going to go far in life. Congratulations!

Daeson is 7!

I cannot believe I have a 7 year old! He has grown so quickly!! I love Daeson so much! He is such a good helper. He is so tall and handsome and I think he is so friendly!

Daeson...

1. Loves his Sissy. He loves to carry her, love her, hold her, and play with her.

2. He loves Pokemon cards and yesterday declared that he would...never get rid of them even when he is a dad. So cute.

3. He loves riding bikes, scooters, and his pogo stick.

4. He is girl crazy, as we all know.

5. He is a show-off and loves to have attention.

6. He is so smart. He is doing algebra and reading very well. He is a quick learner once he decides he wants to learn it.

7. He is a teaser. He likes to pull jokes on people.

8. Though annoyed at times, he lets his little brother tag-along.

9. He is a good hugger. He loves to be held and often requests it.

10. He loves late-night-chats. He likes to have the one-on-one attention.

11. He likes Beyblades, Pokemon cards, Bakugan (though he is fading out of this), and quarter machines.

12. He likes to spend money the second he gets it. It just burns holes in those pockets!

13. He loves to eat and have several snacks during the day. He is a really good eater and has teh worlds fastest metabolism! He is so skinny!

14. He is a daredevil, often doing tricks.

15. He has lost several teeth now and wiggles them loose. He loves the tooth-fairy.

16. He bares his Testimony in Sacrament meeting and is so brave. He loves to talk about church and has many questions regarding the church.

17. He can be stubborn at times, but he is mostly easy going.

18. He loves to draw and color and is very good at this.

19. He loves to be stylish and to have his hair done. He likes to dress himself and express through clothing. The other day he had on one cowboy boot and one tennis shoe.

20. He is a good helper to me and is relied on a lot.

21. He is no longer wetting the bed! This is a huge milestone for us and we are so proud of him. I am sure in 20 yrs he is going to be glad I blogged about this!

22. He loves to jump on the trampoline and is learning to do a back flip. He can flip forward by himself, but still needs help back flipping.

23. He tries to be a friend to everyone and gets upset when the friendship is ended or when someone says they don't want to be his friend.

24. He wears a size 7/8 and has a size 2.5 or 3 shoe. He is so tall and I will get his stats posted on Monday after his visit.

25. He loves his family. He is a loving and caring boy and we love him so much!

I know at times Daeson gets tired of being the oldest. He gets tired of helping so much, but he is a good boy. We are pretty strict with him and he holds a lot of responsibilities...but he gets to do fun things, too. We love Daeson so much. I would be lost without him!

His favorite food is Hootenany (German pancakes)

His favorite friends are Rachel, Brady, Cam, and, of course, all of them :)!

His favorite color is white and black.

His favorite activity is playing with friends.

His least favorite food is nothing.

*This picture is from the 24th. I don't have more recent ones loaded yet.

His day....

I decorated his door with streamers and signs. He got breakfast in bed with Sunny D, eggs in a basket (toast and egg in the middle), yogurt, and sausage. After breakfast we went out for a bit. His friends came at 11:30. We played ring toss, had a hula-hoop contest, KungFu Panda game where you stick tags on the kicks and they are all different points, Birthday Bingo, and Birthday Birthday Boy (Duck Duck Goose). We then went outside and had a BBQ with cheeto balls, hotdogs, corn on the cob and a sundae bar. He didn't want cake, just icecream and lots of fixins! We then played with friends and jumped on the trampoline. This is when he learned to do back filps. He picked Leo's for dinner. We ate and played there. Grandpa and Grandma Blue joined us. We gave him his pogo stick and he was so happy. He did the token games and won over 500 tickets. It took him a while to decide what to spend them on. He went shopping with Grandma and Grandpa and came home with Pokemon cards. He had a great day and I hope it was fun for him.

It's amazing when one aspect in life is thrown into chaos how it effects the others so much. The cupboards are done...finally. Today was the completion of the installation. My kitchen is looking great, but now we have to finish our part...new lights, trim, and bead board. It will be done soon, I hope.

The rest of my house is chaos. I didn't realize how much the kitchen was used until I didn't have it. It is truly the heart of our home. I love having it semi-back. I started moving things in yesterday, and I have been working in it all day today. I'm tired tonight.

Kaebryn is sick. I don't know what she has or how to treat it. She is miserable and wants to be held. All day. I get nothing done. The hard part is that she thinks she wants held, but wiggles out of my arms to get down, once down, she cries to be back up. I love this baby of mine, but I have not had a good nights rest since Oregon. I'm ready to sleep! I feel so bad for her...she just is so stuffy. I think it is from the construction, but she truly could have picked up a bug anywhere.

Daeson finished First Grade today! He got straight A's and did very well with everything. He is a bright child and he is a good boy. He is thrilled to turn 7 on Monday!

Tevan is glad school is out as well. He gets so bored during the day...especially lately. I just haven't been able to spend a lot of time with him. But he is a trooper and uses his imagination so well.

I started watching my friend's two boys off and on. Tev loves having friends. It will work out just fine. There is always an adjustment period.

Tomorrow is our combined birthday party. I started their cakes, but that is as far as I got. I need to make fondant and somehow shape the boys cake into a Skylander's portal. It should be interesting. I made a small cake for Kaebryn. I made a Tinkerbell cake for my niece, Tora. It won't take too long to do the others, I just need to get the rest of the kitchen put away and take the time to do it.

It is almost 11:30 p.m. I think I am going to swap laundry out and head to bed. I will get up in the morning, finish the kitchen, make fondant, color fondant, and apply the fondant to the cakes. I am praying they turn out cute. It's a little out of my league. However, challenge is good.

Blogging hault

I have been extremely overwhelmed lately and blogging has taken a back burner. We have been without a kitchen for two weeks now, as the remodeling has taken over. Troy and I busted our humps trying to get things ready for last Thursday when the cabinet people told me the cupboards would be in....they never came. Friday morning they were here and installed the lower cabinets...not with drawers or cupboard faces, just cabinets. Then the counter top people came in. Troy and I laid the floor, mostly Troy, and got the appliances in. By Sunday our kitchen was almost useable and by Monday, yesterday, I could use it enough to cook again. I am mad at the cabinet people. I am upset they were not straight forward with us and I am mad they didn't answer our calls last week, they just left us hanging. But alas, it will look wonderful when they are done. Sigh...

Troy has a new calling. He will be released from Elder's Quorum teacher and he is now serving in the Young Men's as a quorum adviser.

Daeson's last week of school is this week. He is excited. Today their class went on a field trip. He was really excited about it!

Kaebryn is crawling all over the place and is into everything! The other day Tevan plugged the toilet by flushing half a roll of toilet paper. Before we knew it, I had gone in and peed. When I tried to flush it, it didn't go down. By the time Troy could get in there, she had gone in, found the full toilet and played in it...and ate the pee toilet paper. I'm shocked she isn't sick from the toilet germs, but I have a feeling she is going to be the kid with the best immune system. She eats everything! Insulation, dirt, bugs, pee water, carpet, paper and anything else she can get her mouth on. She is quick too, and she now knows to swallow before I go fishing in her mouth for it!

Tevan is growing finally. He acts a lot older lately too. He is smart as a whip and the trickiest 4 yr old I know.

The boys are grounded from everything until their room is kept clean for a week. Friends, video games, netfilx and so on. I am glad they are unplugged! They actually have imaginations to use!

Troy is back in school. He had a week break and did very well last semester! He had a super hard workload and I am proud of him and the grades he got! He is taking Anatomy and Physiology this semester...a higher level one. He is in for 6 weeks and then starts right after with 6 more weeks of school...we get to apply for Nursing in September! Woohoo.

I am going crazy and I am feeling very unorganized! But we will get this mess out of the way, get ready for a yard sale and try to keep up with everything going on this summer. I bought a Zoo pass, movie tickets through the school, and we have several parks in our area. We should be able to find something to do everyday. Oh, and with Troy working at the Apple, we have free admission there, too. It should be a great summer.

Today we had extremely high winds. It picked a 3 ft by 8 ft piece of 1/2 inch plywood up and threw it against our van putting a huge gash in the front passenger fender! I was in the living room and heard a huge crash...when I went outside, the wood was on the top of the van and when I pulled it off, I saw the gash. Not happy about that!!

Cupboards are supposed to be here in 20 minutes, but I am definitely not going to hold my breath! They probably won't show. But, I know four people not using them now because of their delay. The cupboards look good now, but we will see when they get done.

What is heaven worth?

Warning, another lengthy blog mostly for journaling purposes.

I feel like a slacker lately.  I feel like I am not doing my part, not only feeling this way, but I know I am not doing it.  Last week we didn't got to our block meetings.  No reason other than my kids were still coughing and I wasn't feeling like fighting Kaebryn in sacrament meeting.  So what did we do, you ask?  We drove to Swan Valley for a square ice-cream cone.  Then we drove to Camp Little Lemhi to check it out.

This weekend we have been a bit lazy, we played late last night with some friends and slept in this morning...I am so glad Kb slept in too!  Today we skipped our regional Stake Conference.  Fighting Kaebryn in regular meetings is hard enough, but I knew I wasn't up for it today for two hours.  So, we dallied in the garden a bit, swept the porch, and cleaned out the outside toybox.  We went through some of the kid's toys too and are opting to give them a better home.  We meandered out to Troy's mom and dad's for a delicious turkey dinner made by Kayla and Peggy.  After dinner, we went for a family bike ride.  The grandkids are getting so big and I cannot believe they ride by themselves!  After the bike ride, we came back home, dropped the bikes off, and headed to Sears.  I know we are supposed to keep the Sabbath Day holy, but we justified it because we need a fridge and tonight only they were an extra 15% off, saving us another 240.  Then on top of that, we asked the missionaries to help us unload it.

Hmm....as I review the activities of today, I do with a heavy heart.  I know I have not been doing what I am asked to do.  I know that Heavenly Father is disappointed in my actions.  In my defense, I did attend a relief society planning meeting last Monday and I went to the Temple Friday with my little brother and my cousin. However,  I didn't feel like I usually do when I attend the temple.  I know that it is because I have not been up to par with what I should be doing.  I know there is much for me to do to make-up for my lack of enthusiasm.  I know I get to try harder.  I know I can make mistakes and repent.  I know that there is still hope.

I was chatting with someone this morning and telling her that we had plans to go to Sears and that we didn't go to church today.  I told her, light heartedly, that I had small chances of ending up in the Celestial Kingdom and justified it by saying that I would probably be uncomfortable there anyway.  I have been reviewing my comments all day and I am kinda saddened by them.  I know we are striving to be there...I know it is where I will want to be.  I don't know what phase I am going through right now.  I don't know why after having such a strong testimony my whole life I am struggling now.  I don't know why after 10 years of Troy being inactive I am falling now.  I don't know what is going on with me...I am changing in so many ways.  I feel like I am a stranger to myself sometimes.  I guess I am maybe becoming more reliant on Troy to lead the ways of our family.  I was strong for 10 years, and it was hard.  I feel like now that I have relied on him, I can breathe for a moment and let him carry the spiritual burdens.  He is definitely the stronger one of us right now.

There is no price on heaven.  There is no challenge we cannot overcome.  There is no guarantee in life that we will make it to the top, but only a promise that we can.  I know these things to be true.  I know that I can return to live with my Heavenly Father, and I also know that I have to be the one to want to.  I have to put forth the effort and live according to his plan.  So for now, I  might slack off for a bit, but I know that I will be able to grow stronger and stronger if I choose to.

I know my thoughts have been very random lately, but I have a lot going on in this head of mine and lately this is the only way I can sort things out.  It's a relief to get it out and to reread the thoughts and feelings.  I believe it to be quite therapeutic...although some may think I need to seek therapy !lol

New blogger set-up

I don't like it.  I don't know how to post things the way I want...and I cannot find the post date so I can post things chronologically.  So, no back posting for now.

Music and my spoken thoughts

As I was rocking Kaebryn in the squeaky chair for her nap, I listened to Pandora radio on the internet.  I rocked to Poison, Guns N Roses, Queen, and Bon Jovi.  Then a Johnny Cash song came on.  These are the lyrics.......

"You can run on for a long time
Run on for a long time
Run on for a long time
Sooner or later God'll cut you down
Sooner or later God'll cut you down

Go tell that long tongue liar
Go and tell that midnight rider
Tell the rambler, the gambler, the back biter
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut 'em down
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut 'em down

Well my goodness gracious let me tell you the news
My head's been wet with the midnight dew
I've been down on bended knee talkin' to the man from Galilee
He spoke to me in the voice so sweet
I thought I heard the shuffle of the angel's feet
He called my name and my heart stood still
When he said, "John go do My will!"

Go tell that long tongue liar
Go and tell that midnight rider
Tell the rambler, the gambler, the back biter
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut 'em down
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut 'em down

You can run on for a long time
Run on for a long time
Run on for a long time
Sooner or later God'll cut you down
Sooner or later God'll cut you down

Well you may throw your rock and hide your hand
Workin' in the dark against your fellow man
But as sure as God made black and white
What's done in the dark will be brought to the light

You can run on for a long time
Run on for a long time
Run on for a long time
Sooner or later God'll cut you down
Sooner or later God'll cut you down

Go tell that long tongue liar
Go and tell that midnight rider
Tell the rambler, the gambler, the back biter
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut you down
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut you down
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut you down"

I have been contemplating the world lately, and contemplating my own life changes.  I have been searching my past lessons and the ones I am currently learning now.  I have tried to be non-judgmental to those around me.  I have tried to teach my children right from wrong.  I have tried real hard to be a good example to those around me, and I have tried not to gossip.  

Ahh, gossip.  The words we say about those we know but often harming the ones we love.  It is hard sometimes to keep a still tongue.  If I have something I am dying to tell Troy, I usually start and then he says something like this, "Is this information going to change the way I feel about the person or is it relevant to me?"  That is a great way to look at what we say about others...is it relevant?  Is it going to hurt those around me?  I get caught up in others lives, and stories...it is hard sometimes not to share what we think the story is with others.

This world is falling apart.  What a mess we live in.  We have done this to ourselves.  Do we not remember 9-11?  Do we not remember the hurricanes and tornadoes ripping apart homes and families?  Why do we think we are unstoppable?  What do we need to do to get this world to hold strong?  The daughters of Zion are falling into temptation and families are suffering.

Troy told me today that Sisters in the Latter-Day Saint religion have the highest numbers of depression, and a very high number of Meth users.  This is a sad and scary statistic.  Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints are supposed to be happy.  We are supposed to have it together and often we make sacrifices that effect us.  He asked me what I thought about the statistic.  This was my reply in a nutshell:

"As LDS members, we have callings that are often very time consuming and take us away from our homes on a regular basis.  We are expected...not from Church leaders, but those in our congregations...to have everything just so.  We have to raise children in troubled times, we have to have our homes together, we have to be the ones running the show, all the time.  Our husbands are usually working or going to school, for life it seems, and are often not around.  We have a higher number of children than those not in our religion and that makes a difference.  We often have our children close together, making it hard to manage things.  We are taught to cook, at home, balanced, nutritious meals.  We are expected by the world to have bodies that fit in the world.  If I were a pop-star, I would be  in all the tabloids with pictures declaring I have not lost all of the baby weight.  It is stressful trying to keep everything together all the time.  And why do we have to keep it together so much?  Because we do gossip and we do judge.  We harm those Sisters by doing so.  We are constantly judging.  Not only those around us, but we judge ourselves, too."  

This is not what our gospel teaches!  Our gospel is one of Jesus Christ.  It is His church.  Then why?  Why are we so quick to judge?  Why do we put so much pressure on ourselves to be perfect and make those around us suffer from our insecurities and our wrong-doings.  Why are we so quick to judge, but are offended and hurt when it happens to us?  

I like the words to this song.  I love the message it holds.  I believe God is trying everyday to get us to pull together.  Bad things are happening all over the earth and it is falling apart.  God is trying to "cut us down" and call us to repent and be true members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  He wants us to be happy, and we can.  But it starts with us.  It starts with holding our tongues the next time we have something juicy to say, or the next time someone comes to church in a dress that isn't what we think is up-to-par, we need to not judge.  People all around us are suffering from things we don't know about.  Sadness fills hearts of those struggling and not everyone is open to share what may be happening in their lives.  

I am so glad this song came on today.  I am so glad that the thoughts and feelings I had are to make me a better person.  I am grateful for this gospel of happiness.  I am thankful, though overwhelmed sometimes, for the callings in my life.  Although I complain a lot about Troy being in school all time, I am grateful he is bettering our family life.  The nights my children are sick or the days they drive me crazy, I thank Heavenly Father for the hugs and kisses I get throughout the day.  We are supposed to be a happy people.  We have much to be grateful for.  We need to pull together and make this a better place for our children and their children to grow old in.

A change of heart

The few days, or couple of weeks that I wanted to sell the house, several things went wrong.  The kitchen sink broke, the master bathroom sprung a leak, the sheet-rock in the garage started falling off, the fridge started to have problems, the kids got sick, and so on.  Troy told me it was because I wanted to sell the house and it wasn't supposed to happen.  One night, about a week ago, I had a chat with Heavenly Father.  I explained the reasons I wanted to sell, the logic, the fears, the necessity. I explained that I was tired of Troy's rigorous schedule and scared it was just going to get worse and that I would be left to take care of a yard and house by myself because he never had time to do anything.  I was slipping into a deep slump, maybe even starting depression.  I was exhausted of arguing with Troy about the sale of the house.  I was stressed out thinking how we were going to move into some thing smaller and try to do without.  I was tired of trying to balance and figure out where the money was going.  I was just a mess.  Plain and simple, a mess.

By the end of my prayer, a very quiet and insistent voice told me to trust Troy.  What!??  I have been the one to make most of the decisions.  I have always been the planner and organizer...the OCD one!  Now I have to surrender and trust someone else to make these decisions??  Preposterous!  However, once I decided to let it go, trust Troy and respect his wishes, things started to work out.  My slump started to become happiness, my kitchen sink ended up being a loose pipe, the toilet leak just needs a new ring and some stabilizers.  The kids were happier, and the very next day, we had two offers on our car!  The car we had been trying to sell for months.  It sold literally over night!  Things started to fall into place and everything has worked out since.  I am excited to stay here.  I am thrilled that I am not taking my kids away from their home.  I am excited the way things are falling together.  I am happy.  I am okay with trusting Troy.  He is, after all, a very wise man.  And, I love him for who he is.  He doesn't have to change.  He is perfect for me.

We may not be able to stay here forever...in fact I am pretty sure we will not be able to.  But for now, I will enjoy this place of comfort, love and rest.  I will accept that I was wrong.  I will take the help of our Heavenly Father.  I will get my house all fixed up, enjoy it for now, and then we can sell it when the time is right.  As far as work goes, I still have no leads on a job.  Tory is working this summer for his brother.  I had an offer to work at a camp, but Troy and I don't think it is right for now.  We will continue to budget and save and live within our means.  We still have our pick-up truck to sell, but other than that, we have unloaded a lot.  I have a lot to be grateful for, and I am grateful for the moments that humble us the most so we can recognize the blessings we do have.